You Can’t Afford The Luxury of A Negative Thought
BY Peter McWilliams (BOOK REVIEW)
This is an amazing book. Ask yourself one honest question – are you a positive person or a negative person?
If you are negative, then you NEED to buy – and READ this book.
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I was a negative person.
Being negative is EASY.
When you’re life sucks and you’re not happy with where you are – IT’S EASY TO GET ADDICTED TO BEING NEGATIVE.
I’ve been there.
Hell. I was there a week ago.
I’ve been working 70 hour weeks and I haven’t gotten laid in a month. That’s an unusually long period of time. for me.
Usually I am better about going bartending, approaching and clubbing to pick up new prospects – but lately I just haven’t had the motivation.
Women, bars and clubbing just seem like a distraction from improving myself.
I’ve got big goals and big dreams planned.
Women, bars and clubbing are a distraction from my PAPER-STACKING.
Until I’ve achieved my goals – I need to just stay patient and stay on my grind.
But it’s easier said then done.
Anyways, after a brief couple days of very bad negativity, I SNAPPED OUT OF IT.
I got to the gym, lifted some HEAVY-ASS WEIGHTS and broke the NEGATIVE THOUGHT LOOP.
Then I went to my bookshelf and immediately dug this book out.
I read it about a year ago, at a hard time in my life. I had just lost the best paying job I had ever had because some big-wigs hated my guts.
I was in a Starbucks Coffee shop, unemployed and down on myself.
The key takeaway form the book is this – Negativity can become an addictive mental habit with terrible mental and physical consequences.
Here is another key point I want to make in regards to MEN.
ALMOST ALL OF THE MEN COMPLAINING ABOUT WOMEN ARE NOT GETTING LAID!
That’s the cold hard truth. Men need women. We were biologically wired to desire them. Just accept that, become the best version of yourself and make yourself as attractive as possible.
Back to the Book.
You Can’t Afford The Luxury of A Negative Thought Review
BREAKDOWN: This book is divided into two parts. The second part focuses on curing negativity and is further divided into three parts.
PART I, THE DISEASE:
This part of the book focuses on the illness we want to treat: NEGATIVE THINKING.
The cause, problems, symptoms and reasons behind NEGATIVE THINKING are discussed.
This part is pretty short (only about ten p
PART 2, THE CURE:
This part of the book focuses on THE CURE to negativity. It is divided into three parts.
- ACT-CENTUATE THE POSITIVE – SPEND MORE TIME FOCUSING ON THE POSIT
- E-LIM-I-NATE THE NEGATIVE
- LATCH ON TO THE A-FIRM-A-TIVE
THE BEST THING ABOUT THE BOOK:
You don’t have to read it cover to cover. – This book is full of mini chapters a few pages long. When you feel a wave of negativity coming over you, just read a minichapter.
Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on, you feel. – Tony Robbins
PART 1: THE DISEASE:
This part starts by talking by and explaining the FIGHT OR FLIGHT response.
Back in our caveman days, this response kept us alive. In our modern age, this response works against us (STRESS).
When the flight or fight response is activated, WE LOOK FOR EVERYTHING WRONG IN OUR LIVES/SITUATIOn.
Negative Thoughts and Emotions
- Guilt (Anger directed at oneself)
- Hurt (Upset with someone else, yourself, or both.)
- Terror Anxiety
- Shyness (Fear of Others)
- Grieving (Fear that you’ll never love or be loved again.)
The problem with emotions (besides their unpleasantness) is that they tend to blind rational, logical thought.
When your reason becomes clouded, it is easy to make bad decisions that you will regret IMMEDIATEDLY after.
For many, negative thinking starts as a habit and becomes an ADDICTION.
Negative thinking is addictive to the MIND, BODY and EMOTIONS.
The mind becomes addicted to being “right.”
Negative thinking must be treated like any addiction – with commitment to life, patience, discipline, a will to get better, forgiveness, self-love and the knowledge that recovery is not just possible, but with structure, inevitable.
Where we are is the result of a lifetime of thinking – positive and negative.
Our thoughts create our reality, not instantly, but EVENTUALLY.
Where we direct our focus (inner and outer vision, is where we tend to go.
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. – Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Where Does Negative Thinking Come From?
Much negative thinking comes from unworthiness. Unworthiness is the deep-seated belief of “I’m just not good enough.”
Unworthiness goes hand in hand with insecurity and low self-esteem.
The next sentence may be the most important one in the book:
UNWORTHINESS undermines all our positive ideas and validates and all our negative thoughts.
Unworthiness tells us that we aren’t good enough, that we don’t deserve the positive finger things of life.
Our childhoods have a huge role in our self-esteem and self worth.
If you grew up in a household where you were constantly put down, never praised, and always the victim of adults mental and physical abuse, you need to purchase this book.
The damage to the human spirit and mind that abuse causes lingers long after the abuser leaves.
This book was published in 1995 but the author makes a KEY point that has only become more relevant.
Mass communication, globalization, and social media and the internet.
A hundred years ago if you were the best at something in your town or village, you were the TALK OF THE TOWN.
People looked up to you. As far as they knew, you were the best of the best.
Because of the internet, social media and globalization you are now competing against ALL HUMAN BEINGS.
Remember this: Comparison is the thief of JOY.
If you want to be happy, STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE . Start comparing yourself to the person you were last week, last month, last year.
PART 2: THE CURE
There is no cure for birth and death – save to enjoy the interval. – George Santayana.
The Cure makes up 90% of the book. It is full of positive techniques, quotes and thought provoking mini-chapters which will help you persevere and lift your spirits in times of need.
Be a pragmatist. If something works, use it. If not, try something else.
Don’t just read the book. Use and actively apply the techniques. Find out if they work.
It’s good to have a healthy fear of a few things, like jumping off a tall cliff, taking poison, running into freeway traffic.
For the other 93% of things, Fear is an ILLUSION disguised as a barrier.
Fear is a feeling, that is all. It cannot STOP you unless you ALLOW IT TO.
Anything worth having is worth asking for. Some say yes and some say no. – Dr.Melba Colgrove
To overcome fear, realize the fear is there and do what you FEAR anyway.
Fear is something to be moved THROUGH, not TURNED FROM.
The three human philosophies of death:
1.) Death is the End – Our consciousness ends with our death.
2). Heaven/Hell/Purgatory – Judge and placed in heaven or hell
3.)Reincarnation – You come back
I used to be afraid of death. I’ve come to view it as inevitable. Since death is inevitable and nothing can be done to stop it, ACCEPT IT.
Accept that you were born one day and will die one day. Decide to make the most of your one life on planet earth, regardless of your beliefs.
Peter briefly talks about suicide here. In my opinion, suicide should only be considered by those whose quality of life has become so BAD as to be in a constant state of suffering.
Actively CHOOSE to live life to the fullest every single day you wake up.
Most people do not fear death so much as the pain and process of dying.
THE CURE PART ONE: ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE:
This means to focus on the positive things on in life.
Positive thinking (Think woo-woo books like The Secret) creates a separation between the positive thinker and reality.
This separation can cause disorientation, confusion, and illness.
(Think of a person who believes that they can fly and jumps off a building.)
Positive thinking will not allow you to
The author instead suggests that we FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.
Focus on the good things that you have and the things you can be grateful for.
The process of focusing on the positive things will put you in a better mood.
If you look for all the things wrong, you will find them.
But if you look at everything that is right with you, your life and your body, it’s easy to be thankful.
You could be six feet under. You could be homeless. You could be a paraplegic.
If you have two hands, two legs , a body and use of all your mental and physical faculties you are immensely. blessed.
There are basically two judges in your mind. One is looking for all the evidence that life is terrible, and the other that life is Wonderful.
You can choose which voice to listen to.
Which outlook do you think would lead to more success, happiness, prosperity and wealth?
To focus on the positive is NOT to ignore certain warning signals.
Certain negative emotions and happenings act as signals we must look at to avoid discomfort or disaster.
For example, if you were driving down a freeway at 75 MPH and you passed an orange sign that said “BRIDGE OUT – TURN BACK.”
You’d have to be a fool to keep speeding along and just pretend like everything was going to be okay because you were positive.
- Take note of negative information, 2) Decide what to do about it and 3) Return to focusing on the Positive.
Positive focusers take the middle path – between the depressing cynicism of the pessimist and the delusional thinking of the positive thinker.
THE CURE TWO: ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE:
Try to eliminate negative parts of your life (negative habits, etc.)
Seperate “Noticing the Negative” from “Negative Thinking
Noticing your car’s fuel tank is a quarter full is noticing the negative in a rational manner.
Thinking “What-If” and imagining negative situations is what we need to get rid off.
What if my car breaks down? What if I run out of gas? What if I get mugged at the gas station.
We get in trouble when we get negative and DEMAND reality, people and things be DIFFERENT then they actually ARE.
The author devotes a chapter on depression.
My personal view on depression conflicts with the authors.
I believe you should exhaust every NATURAL option to cure depression before taking antidepressants. This book was published in 1995 and we know more about depression.
Exercise consistently (daily) and give sunlight and magic mushrooms a try.
SSRI’s have terrible side effects and cause sexual dysfunction.
Negative Thinking is Automatic, Positive Focusing is A Conscious Habit:
Negative thinking is automatic. Positive focusing must be consciously trained in the mind with discipline, perseverance and repetition.
Learn to simply notice when you are thinking negatively. When you catch yourself, PAUSE for two minutes.
Think about something uplifting for two minutes, then get angry.
Add areas of your life to your forbidden negative thought list:
Pledge to STOP all negative thinking about relationships, business, money, health and death.
Focus on the positive aspects of these areas.
Positive attitude – optimism, high self-esteem, an outgoing nature, joyousness, and the ability to cope with stress may be the most important bases for continued good health. – Helen Hayes
Keep Track of Negative Thoughts:
If there is a certain area of your life causing you negative thinking, get an index card and write a tick mark every time that thought pops into your head.
Over a month, track the tick marks. Watching the tick marks decrease is a conscious REMINDER that you are on the right track.
ACTIVITIES THAT CONTRIBUTE TO NEGATIVE THINKING
- Hanging out with Negative People (Negative Thinking is a CONTAGIOUS DISEASE)
- Complacency (Not taking action becomes an automatic response – This stems from the belief “I can’t do it.” COMPLACENCY IS SOLVED THROUGH ACTION.
- Drugs and Alcohol – The physical and mental effects of drugs make toxic thinking easy.
The dark side of accountability is – fault, blame and guilt.
The bright side of accountability is realizing a simple fact – WE ARE FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN WE GENERALLY LIKE TO ADMIT.
The price of greatness is responsibility. – Winston Churchill
The Cure Part Three: Latch On To The Affirmative:
Humans have natural desires, aspirations, dreams and wants.
Any attempt to diminish this desire is counterproductive, frustrating and IMPOSSIBLE.
Desires are healthy.
Becoming attached to desires and outcomes is what causes trouble.
A is For Accpetance
Acceptance is as simple as saying “It is what it is”
To do anything other than to accept reality is A) Painful B) Futile.
Eliminate the words “should” and “must” from your vocabulary.
The world is going to be how its going to be. People are going to be who they are, not who you want them to be.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. – Serenity Prayer
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
“A patient man is always richer than an impatient man, because he can AFFORD to wait.” – Jim Rohn
To imagine – is to put an image of something into our awareness.
Unconsciously, we use visualization to create every aspect of our lives.
Almost everything we’ve done – we “thought about it” before we did it.
Many people create their own negative reality through negative visualization.
Instead of visualizing the best, they visualize the worst.
A constant negative visualization becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that we unconsciously create.
Why not use that same ability to visualize positive outcomes?
All that is comes from the mind; it is based on the mind, it is fashioned by the mind. – The Pali Canon
The Attitude of Gratitude:
Be grateful for everything in your life. The outstanding things, the good things, the mundane things, even the TERRIBLE things.
Why should you be grateful for the terrible things?
Because, GRATITUDE FEELS SO GOOD.
Second, everything there in your life happens for a reason. You might not know why, but it’s true.
I remember when I lost a $13 an hour job and felt terribly miserable and depressed for days.
Then I ended up getting a job making almost TWICE as much a month later.
What seemed like a terrible event ended up being a BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
Negative thinking CANNOT COEXIST with gratitude.
If a negative thought attempts to take hold, An Attitude of Gratitude says “Thank you for that thought!”
There are three magic words that heal – I love you.
Loving is a better word then love – because loving is the active process.
Being loving towards ourselves and others is a conscious, active choice.
We can be lost in our bad habits but with every moment comes a new chance to choose loving.
We can choose the joy of living or the cesspit of negative thinking.
The loving action PRODUCES the loving feeling.
Who is there to love?
Choose to love yourself unconditionally and forgive yourself for everything.
If you enjoyed reading this brief breakdown and review , then you’ll love the book itself,.
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