The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way
Getting Your Way – How to speak, write, present, persuade, influence, and sell your point of view to others.
Why You Should Read This Book:
You should read this book like your life depends on it. The better you get at persuading people, the more you can get what you want. The more you get what you want, the better your life will become.
This book will help you persuade others to do what you want them to do. Period, point blank.
Persuasion and getting your way are another form of selling.
This book will help you become a more effective persuader , a better salesman, a better person period.
Getting Your Way is Divided into Ten Chapters – Called “Elements.”
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Concise Breakdown & Summary of The Little Green Book of Getting Your Own Way:
1) Getting Ready to Get Your Way
While you’re trying to get your way – others are perceiving and defining your words and actions.
“Perception is Reality.”
- Persuasion is the process – Getting Your Way is the Outcome
- The true secret of long-term persuasion strategies is this : manipulation free
- True persuasion is both a science and an art.
- Persuasion means possessing excellent communication skills – and even better questioning skills
- Persuasion =/= Compromise – To get your way, you must use give and take
- Persuasion is excellent listening skills – Listening is difficult because it requires patience. – Take Notes
- Persuasion equals getting the other guy to sell himself. All you have to do is convince him!
- Persuasion means proper Preparation, so remember the 5 P’s (Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance)
- Persuasion is Victory. Whether its convincing a girl to go home with your or getting a sale, making it happens feels AMAZING
Thinking you can do it is half the battle.
To become a convincing persuader, and sway others towards your ways of thinking:
YOU MUST FIRST PERSUADE YOURSELF!
The Secret of Self-Belief:
Self -Belief forms the inner center of your ability to achieve anything in life – not just convince others.
To get your way, persuade others and become successful you must have the following strong beliefs:
- Strong Belief in Yourself
- Strong Belief in What You Are Doing
- Strong Belief in Your Product
- Strong Belief In Your Company
The Secret of Attitude:
Your positive attitude and thoughts will continuously build, reinforce and magnify and strengthen your
self-belief and conviction.
The attitude you choose to adopt in life will determine your results in life.
Positive Attitude, when combined with positive thinking and positive self-belief, will provide the frame necessary for you to:
- To become passionate about what you do and want
- To convince and persuade others
- To be able to persuade others
- To be able to make others see your way
2) The Fundamentals of Getting Your Way
Everybody wants to get their way – from a baby to the businessman. Your upbringing and personality plays a big role in how good you
are at persuading others.
Assertive, aggressive, friendly , extroverted people tend to be “Luckier” then shy, passive people.
To get your way – YOU MUST BE ABLE TO CONVINCE OTHERS.
Convincing others starts with your own conviction plus your ability to communicate a believable message.
Your message must make sense and contain an element that allows the other person to feel persuaded and valuable.
Principles of Convincing Others:
- Personal Conviction
- Being Believable
- Telling The Truth
- Providing Value
Principles of Influencing Others:
- History of Success
To get your way, you have to possess persuasive presentation skills.
Principles of Persuasive Presentation Skills:
- Excellence of Message Delivery
- Ability to Create Examples that Are Easily Understood
- Being able to “Transfer” your message so others agree and are willing to act on it.
Principles of Persuasive Storytelling:
- Having a Meaningful Message
- Making the Story Relevant To The Topic
- Telling The Story in a Convincing Manner
- Combining Theatrical skills with Presentation to add Performance
Principles of Persuasive Writing:
- Ability to Inject Humor
Principle of Transferable Concepts (Ability to Convey Messages That:
- Other People Like
- Other People Believe
- Other People are Confident They Can Do
These core principles form the backbone of getting your way.
Now you must TAKE ACTION!
3) The Fundamentals of Persuasion and Personal Power:
Proper Persuasion To Get Your Way:
The key to getting your way is letting the other person feel great after they decide to do it your way.
The 9 Elements That Affect Your Ability to Persuade
- Explaining What, Why, and How
- Explaining What’s In It For Them
- Your Sincerity
- Your believability
- Your Questioning SKills
- Your Communication Skills
- Your Visionary (Storytelling) Skills
- Your Reputation Precedes You
- Your History of Success
The more of these elements you master, the more persuasive you will be and the more likely you will be to get your way.
You are either persuading someone to do it your way or you are being persuaded by them.
The core of utilizing the power of persuasion is developing an unshakeable personal belief system.
If you want to use the power of persuasion, begin by studying the powerful, persuasive presentations of others.
They will inspire you and create a standard for you to inspire to.
Power and knowledge mean nothing unless they are harnessed and utilized.
The Power of Engagement:
When a customer or person says “I’m not interested.”, that is a SYMPTOM.
The problem is that you are not interesting – you must engage the customer by asking the right questions!
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”
-Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
Engagement is the glue of persuasion. You can persuade and present as much as you want, but if you can’t engage with people YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR WAY!
4) The Essentials of Getting Your Way
Professional Development of A Presenter: (10 Steps)
- Get Ready – Your content, humor, speed, tone , gestures , passion, story and punch – know your audience and pre-question them.
2. Ask Yourself 9 Questions:
- What is my time limit?
- Is this the most compelling message I can create?
- What’s the point I am trying to make?
- Am I engaging?
- What will persuade the audience?
- Am I clear? Is my message clear?
- Is my delivery the best it can be?
- What do I want the audience to do when I’m done?
- What do I want the audience to say to me (or about me) when I am done?
The answers to these questions will sharpen your speech and make it gold. Your mission is deliver your message in a way that inspires your audience to action.
3. Practice In Front of People Who Are Not Afraid To Evaluate You
4. Record A Practice Session
5.Listen to Your Recording As Often As You Can Stand it
6. Practice It As Tohough You Were Giving It – Rehearse for real every time
7. If Your Family Or Friends Think You’re Nuts, You’re On The Right Track.
8. Appoint an Evaluator Before You Start Each Talk
9. Videotape The Actual Session
10. Watch The Tape Twice – Make a list of “Never do-it again” items” and keep that list in your pocket.
Simply reading the list is not enough – you must put each step from this list into action.
12 Guidelines To A Compelling Presentation:
- The more prepared you are, the less nervous you will be
- Get the Audience to Like You – ASAP
- Don’t thank anyone for anything at the beginning of your talk
- If you’re somewhat funny, you have a better chance of connecting
- They Don’t Care About You (They care about them – speak about them.)
- Material Beats Style
- Style and Dress Enhance Great Material
- Use Transferable Concepts
- Be One Notch Better Than Anyone In The Audience
- Have Several Signature Words, Phrases, and Gestures
- Know Your Audience
The Ultimate Secret: The more you speak and the better you become, the more you will get your way.
The first couple minutes you talk to somebody, they decide whether they like you or not.
The more you talk, ask and are curious about THEM, the more they will like YOU.
Look Good, Act Better, Persuade Best And Get Your Way:
Every item on this list is something you already know how to do. The problem is you may not be doing it.
Assess your self, then have a friend or co-worker fill out the same test and rate you.
Rate yourself from 1 to 5 on the following metrics: (1 = Never 2-4 – In Between 5 = All the Time)
- I stand up straight
- I have clear, bright eyes, not red, tired eyes.
- My speaking rate is perfect.
- I make strong eye contact that exude confidence
- If I smoke, I don’t smell like a cigarette
- I wear APPROPRIATE clothing
- I look crisp. My clothes are ironed, not wrinkled.
- I look professional – As good or better than those I am speaking to.
- I have first class accessories (briefcase, bag, pens.)
- I have everything prepared and in order before I begin.
- I am relaxed
- I wear a smile
If you circled any 1s, 2s, or 3s, then circle that statement and commit to getting better on it.
If you have no 1s,2s, or 3s, work on your 4s.
If you have all 5’s, you are probably lying to yourself.
Let somebody else rate you. It doesn’t matter how you see yourself as MUCH as it matters how others see you.
The good side of persuasion is harmonizing.
The negative side of persuasion is manipulation.
Manipulation is a short term strategy.
Harmonizing is a long term strategy. – Using logic or emotion you persuade people to see or do it your way.
Turning Your Personal Commercial Into Getting Your Way:
Also known as your elevator speech.
It’s an opportunity to provide information that generates interest and response from people you network with.
How effective is your commercial? Do you even have an elevator speech?
Your goal is to have thirty seconds of info.
After you say a little – ask a lot.
Don’t tell a prospect how you can help until you know what kind of help they actually need.
When formulating your power questions for your elevator speech, ask yourself these 5 questions:
- What information do I want to get as a result of asking this question?
- Can I qualify my prospect as a result of the question?
- Does it take more than one question to find out the information I need?
- Do my questions make the prospect think?
- Can I ask a question that separates me from my competitor?
You should have a list of 25 power questions that make the prospect stop & think and give you the intel to strike.
The closing end of your 30 second commercial should be a call to action – a closing line, statement or question.
16 Elements of Compelling Power-Point Presentations:
- Don’t even think about using stupid clip art any 12-year old could find
- Add unexpected, personal FUNNY photographs.
- Make a verbal point and reinforce it with a slide, not the other way around
- Don’t EVER say, “This one’s a little hard to read.” – Split the info into two slides
- Don’t have your slides spin around or have moving text.
- Don’t put more than one point on a slide.
- Count the laughs. At least 1 per 5 slides.
- Use a white background
- Use the font IMPACT, 44pt and shadow the type.
- Emphasize words by blowing them up a few point sizes and using color.
- If you’re laboring over one slide that you are trying to “make work,” delete it.
- Use slides that tell a story – not one that relate’s a fact
- Are you slides engaging or distracting?
- Are your slides asking questions or making statements? (Ask questions)
- How many of the claims you make in the presentation are backed up by proof?
- Incorporate video testimonial clips throughout your presentation to back up and prove that your claims are real and transferable.
The secret solution: Convert the time you waste watching TV and browsing to working on your presentation.
5) Power Presentation
The 30 Power Elements of Presenting:
- You Can Do It – If You Believe You Can
- They Buy You First
- The Introduction Sets The Tone
- It’s Show Business – Create a Mood of Upbeat Excitement
- Command The Room With Poise And An Open Aura
- Don’t Talk Until You Have Established Rapport and The Audience Is Smiling
- Don’t Demand The Audience Participate
- Make Them Laugh, But Don’t Tell A Dumb Joke
- Should I Use Notes?
- You Get Five Extra Points For Looking Good.
- Ask Engaging Questions.
- Make the Message Powerful By Creating and Delivering a Powerful Presentation.
- Make a High-Powered, Concise, Compelling Presentation that Creates a Desire for Involvement.
- Anticipate Audience Questions, And Answer Them In Your Presentation.
- Don’t Say “UH” OR “UM” Even If Your Ass Falls Off.
- There Are Elements Of Presentation That Make It Hit Or Miss
- Have a Prop Or Two.
- Slides Divert Attention – But They Give You Credibility and Authenticity
- Test The Participants
- Create A Sense of Urgency
- Get A Roadie To Push The Buttons, Dim The Lights, and Pass Out the Handouts
- Attention Spans Are Short and People Are Impatient.
- Even If You Stink, Your Story Can Save You.
- Create A Real Story That Has Relatable Concepts
- Tell Stories with Passion – Short and Sweet.
- Solicit Spoken Testimonials of Those Who Have Already Acted
- Have at Least Three New Ideas That Directly Relate To Them.
- Tell The Audience That Their Questions Will Be Answered After Your Presentation
- End With A Laugh, A tear, A Powerful Statement
- Confidence Breeds Confidence
Some Stuff Is Ok – Some Stuff Isn’t:
It’s OK to use notes, props, compelling slides, stumble , to be real, to be excited.
It’s NOT OK to be nervous, unprepared, or unrehearsed.
It’s NOT OK to pander to the audience, to make excuses, to ramble on about yourself.
It’s NOT OK to ramble on about nothing and assume anyone is interested.
It’s NOT OK to tell your story unless it relates DIRECTLY to your Audience.
Start in the middle of a story. Instead of greeting, tell a story and compel them to listen.
Separate yourself from your audience. Show confidence, not vulnerability.
If you seek to persuade, you must position yourself through your stature and language.
Power Loss: 5 Reasons You Lose Power:
- You’re Unprepared
- You Have A Limited Self-Image
- You have Limited Self-Esteem
- You Are Afraid of Ridicule
- You Lack Self-Confidence
How To Power Up:
- Dwell On Your Past Victories and Successes
- Write Down “WHY” You Have The Fear
- Feed Your Head
- Test Your Prowess In A Safe Atmosphere
- Practice Alone
- Record Yourself
- Join Toastmasters
- Create A Peer Group And Give Your Talks To One Another
- Lead a Committee At A business Organization
- Have Some Fun – Call A Radio Talk Show
Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.
5 Reasons to Use Humor:
- Humor is the final frontier
- Humor is the highest form of language mastery
- What’s so funny about being professional?
- The difference between a joke and a story – Stories are genuine and engaging
- Laughter is Universal.
You gain audience trust by being likeable, believable, and transferring confidence.
Build your presentation skills daily by giving presentations and recordin gthem.
Recording will reveal every weakness, mistake and error.
Whatever you do, record what you say.
6) Persuasion Performance
The 9 Elements of Quality Speech:
- Inform the Audience
- Entertain the Audience
- Get Them To Laugh and They Will Listen
- There Must Be At Least One Aha!
- Give The Audience Hope.
- Extract Emotion From The Audience By Sharing Yours
- Transfer Messages And Ideas To The audience
- Don’t Motivate The Audience, Inspire Them
- Own Your Talk
How to Deliver the Greatest Performance In The World:
- Rapport – Putting yourself on the same side as the audience
- Need – Figuring out what the audience needs
- Importance – The urgency and transferability of your message
- Confidence – Your ability to gain comfort and build assurance that their is low risk & high reward.
The Strategic Elements of How To Talk:
- Speak Clearly. – If the audience doesn’t understand you – you won’t get your way
- Lean forward. Lean into the listener to give them a sense of importance and urgency.
- Don’t fidget. Nervous habits and tics detract from the performance
- Don’t fumble. Fumbling means you aren’t prepared – It makes your audience unsure of you
- Don’t say “UM”, “AH”, stutter or repeat yourself. The cure for this is practice.
- Be animated. – As if you had the most fantastic thing happen to you.
- Use pointed, controlled, compelling hand gestures
- Use a wide range of vocal variety. Compel the audience to listen.
- Whisper some important stuff like you’re telling a secret.
- Stand up when you perform to add impact to your story.
- Stand up straight. Posture determines whether your words hit the floor or the audience.
- Look people directly in the eye to build confidence
- Take performance risks – even if they make you uncomfortable.
- Stay within your audience’s range – If they are conservative, don’t get wild.
- Say your words with conviction. Self-belief accounts for a large portion of getting your way.
- Select the right words and sound intelligent. Build your vocabulary every week.
- Emphasize important words. – Know when to pause to let it sink in.
- Use your whole body. Gesture with your hands & arms and walk around the room.
- Nod yes. – This subliminal body technique sets a mood of “yes.”
- Smile – You smiling makes the prospect feel good inside.
- Relax – High Anxiety makes the Audience Nervous.
10 Success Tactics To Get Your Way:
- Get a Grip (Shake a hand like a man)
- Set The Mood
- Pace Your Delivery
- Tag team for evaluation purposes.
- Record your telephone conversations.
- Read and record a chapter from any of my books onto a CD.
- Videotape your opening five minutes.
- Be your own video critic once a week.
- Be prepared.
- Be Yourself
Element of Presentation that Improve Performance:
- Vocal Variety
- Body Langauge
- Eye Contact (look at people, one at a time.)
- Clarity of Words
- Soul – Your ability to be smooth and in harmony with yourself. (SWAGGER)
The Key Point:
Film Yourself – It’s the Only Way:
If you don’t film yourself, you’ll never know how good or bad you are.
Recording yourself gives you a stern reality check. The only way to see how others actually see you is to record!
7) Sales Persuasion Performances
12 Major Performance Clues That Lead to A Scale:
- Develop a strong belief system
- Do your homework the night before
- Pre-relax. Set your own internal tone.
- Set your mind on helping your audience achieve their goals, not selling your stuff
- Tell the customer you have come up with a few ideas that will help them.
- Make friends with people you are presenting to before giving your formal speech.
- Ask a Killer Question at the beginning (One that makes the customer stop and think)
- Create points of value and areas of differentiation as you’re speaking
- Don’t “need” the sale.
- Remember all the sales you have already made.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for the sale.
- While you qualify the buyer, the buyer qualifies you.
Why You Must Relax:
- What can you do to relax before you start?
- Make friends first before making a speech?
- Relaxing let’s the message come through – more like a conversation instead of a sale’s pitch.
Why You Must Be Intense:
- Passion, self-belief, and previous self-success act as a mental arsenal that bolsters your strength.
- Concentrating on maximizing the impact and believability of your message makes it contagious.
- If you have prepared inner focus and it’s in harmony with your belief and confidence, you can begin to relax intensely.
Make friends, know your stuff, know your mission and relax.
Six Reasons You Can’t Close The Sale:
- You haven’t created enough need.
- You haven’t uncovered the real objection.
- You haven’t created enough urgency.
- You haven’t convinced the prospect of the benefits of ownership
- You haven’t built enough trust.
- You haven’t built enough confidence. Have you?
What to do and what not to do:
- Don’t blame it on the prospect
- Don’t moan about what the prospect’s excuse is
- Figure out what the true objection is.
- Figure out a solution for that objection.
- Try your best to overcome it to make the sale this time
- AND be sure you prevent that objection from recurring next time.
Get a mirror, get responsible and get your way.
Questions You Should Ask After A Missed Sale:
- Was I on time?
- Was I prepared?
- Was I organized?
- Could I answer all product questions?
- Did I make excuses or blame others about anything?
- Was I apologizing?
- Did the prospect ask personal issues about my company?
- Did the prospect ask doubting questions about my product?
- Did the prospect ask doubting questions about me?
- Did I name-drop other happy, loyal customers effectively?
- Did I feel as though I was on the defensive?
- Could I overcome all objections in a confident manner?
- Did I down the competition?
- Was my prospect uninvolved in the sales presentation?
- Was I too anxious to make the sale?
You should review yourself after a failed sale and ask yourself all the questions.
If they 1) Like You 2) Believe You, 3) Trust You and 4) Have Confidence, they MAY buy from you.
When the customer says NO, it means they have NO CONFIDENCE in you.
7 Hot Air Factors:
What is Hot Air? – Empty talk designed to impress.
- BTNA – Big Talk No Action
- Bragging too Soon
- Bragging Too Much
- Bragging at the Expense of Others
- Using others as scapegoats to get yourself off responsibility (Blame)
- Exaggerating the facts
- Using insincere words – Never say honestly, truthfully, quite frankly and I mean that.
- Talking past the sales – Know when to shut up and go home.
Negative side effects of Hot Air:
- It waste’s everyone’s time.
- It’s the most unproductive and negative use of your time possible.
- It makes you look like a fool.
- It diminishes your respect in the eyes of others.
- It gets people talking behind your back.
- It prevents advancement
- It can get your fired.
4 Simple Rules To Avoid Hot Air:
- Don’t say anything behind anyone’s back you wouldn’t say to their face.
- Don’t say something you wouldn’t want said about you.
- Don’t say anything you have to remember. (Lies must be remembered)
- Temper your remarks with humility
8)The Write Way to Get Your Way
What makes writing persuasive?
Writing is persuasive when other people are willing to act or comment on what you’ve written.
The key is – Think about everything you write in terms of its IMPACT – not just the INFORMATION.
Test yourself by reading all your own writing. If you received them in the mail , what would you do with them?
Think *VALUE* for THEM.
Realities of Writing That Will Make You A Better Writer:
- I Write Like I Think and Write Like I Talk
- I Write Anywhere, Anytime
- I Collect Ideas, I Collect Thoughts
- When I Get The Idea, I Stretch It
- I Write From My Own Experience
- When I Write A Column Or A Chapter, I Stick To One Subject, Thought or Theme.
- I Write With Authority
- I Don’t “CALL IT” Anything (Unless it’s My Original Idea)
- I Don’t Care About Grammar.
- I Care About Structure and Flow.
- I don’t worry about spelling/grammar until after I finish writing
- I write in the Male Gender Because I’m A Male
- My Writing Voice is Not PC – Makes writing weak and drag on
- I Don’t Include Myself With The Reader
- I Break the rules of Traditional Writing
- I Edit When I Finish, But Edit Better A Day Later
- I Use First Person Singular Sparingly (We, Our) When you write, you are the authority
- I Love To Write – The biggest secret of writing with passion and clarity.
6 More Things To Improve Your Writing Skills:
- Just Sit Down and Write Something
- Capture Your Best Thoughts and Ideas The Second They Occur
- Write It Like You Would Say It
- Make Sure Your Thoughts Are Simple, Easy To Understand, & Complete
- Edit Early and Often
- You’re writing for the reader AND yourself.
Excerpt taken from Think and Grow Rich By Napoleon Hill.
What is persistence?
Persistence is a state of mind, therefore it can be cultivated. Like all states of mind, persistence is based upon definite causes, among them these:
Traits of Persistence:
- Definiteness of Purpose
- Definiteness of Plans
- Accurate Knowledge
Four Simple Steps to Develop Persistence:
1.) A definite purpose backed by burning desire for its fulfillment
2. )A definite plan, expressed in continuous action.
3) A mind closed tightly against all negative and discouraging influences, including negative suggestions of relatives, friends, and acquaintances.
4) A friendly alliance with one or more persons who will encourage one to follow through with both plan and purpose.
What to persist with?
Persist with value.
To develop persistence, you must have will-power and desire.
How bad do you want it and how far are you willing to go to get it?
Unless it’s all the way, you won’t persist. You’ll give up.
Eloquence – n. fluent or persuasive speaking or writing.
To be eloquent, you must tell a story and THEN make a point. Not the other way around.
Don’t start with Good Morning or Good Afternoon. Start with a story or question and engage the audience immediately.
Eloquence comes from the way you speak your words and the way you carry yourself.
Your walk, your swagger and your self-confidence.
Eloquence is a style.
This is an excellent book on persuasion. Read, reread and apply the wisdom within the book and you will reap the rewards.