PUA Lay Report


PUA Lay Report

(Fucking a Chick In A Car With Nothing But Her Jordan’s On)


Welcome to Tales of Poon – A new series where I document my lays with photographic proof. *Names have been changed.*

07/18/21 Lay Report

Age: 36

Build: Skinny – With a fat booty and B cup tits, 5’5.

Ethnicity: Native American/Latina mixed

Personal Looks Rating: 6/10


Unique Trait: She was a feminine lesbian

1)How We Met: Cold Approach

(Outside A Pharmacy – She showed initial interest.)

We were both picking up medicine. She came in with a female friend right after I entered the pharmacy. She had high interest and gave me very strong eye contact from the jump I reciprocated. I ended up striking up a casual conversation with a nearby male customer.

She had brown hair, a great face, a sexy, curvy hourglass figure , great legs and a nice smile.

Her skin was tan and she was wearing a short red dress.

I was dressed extremely casually which is out of the norm for me.

The conversation went on longer then normal and she ended up walking to her car.

Me and this guy are still chatting at the parking lot.

I see her out of the corner of her eye staring at me. I overhear her friend saying, that guy was cute, you should have given him your number  (I swear to god).

She pulls out extremely slowly from the parking lot out to the street.

I thought about cutting the conversation short and walking up to the car  but didn’t want to be perceived as a creep. (It was about 50 feet away and I would have had to sprint or fast walk.)

I write it off and 15 minutes later come back for my ready prescription.

Low and behold, she comes back in with her friend. Turns out she lost her vape while she was inside.

(She later told me her friend told me she was just making up an excuse to come back and talk to me.)

She didn’t say anything, but at this point I had already felt that an opportunity had been missed.

I waited till we were out of the building and then I introduced myself.

2)The First Date

Hi , im AJ. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

She extended her petite, slender fingers and I responded with a firm handshake, tilting her palm so my hand was on top of hers.

I’m Jess. Its good to meet you.”

Look Jess, I know you’re in a hurry and I need to get to work soon. Put your number in my phone.

I immediately handed her my phone. She put the number in twenty seconds later.

She called her number from my phone.

She told me she had trouble saving it and for me to do it.

Then she waved by and drove off with her friend.

I ended up calling her the next evening.

I made definite plans to grab drinks at a  cool bar in Denver. We spent fifteen minutes talking. In hindsight, it should have been 3 or 4. Max. I did not text her at all. For the rest of the week.

On Friday when of the supervisors at my job called me to offer me some additional overtime on Sunday night.

I accepted the time right away (Money > Poon)

Everyone has a different value system.

Mine places money over random women.

Saturday afternoon I went to work and attempted to call her.

She didn’t answer, so I waited until the evening.

I was planning on going out that night, so I had brought a full change of clothes, my jewelry and nice shoes.

That ended up being a good idea.

She ended up calling me back at 9:00.

I told her we would need to cancel our date tonight and asked her what she was up too.

She told me she was at a Dive Bar in Thornton, Colorado called Brewski’s with her girls.

She asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for drinks Saturday night instead of Sunday.

I told her that was perfect because I had to work Sunday.

So, long story short I drive over to Thornton. By the time I get to Thornton she is back to her friends apartment building. Its around 10:30 at night. I’ve changed into my cleanest clothes – tight fitting v neck, skinny jeans, expensive shoes, cologne applied and jewelry on me.

She wants to meet up so she texts me her friends apartment’s address. I head over to her address.

I arrive and hold and pick her up.  She looks excited to see me and says “You look sexy.” and bites her upper lip.

Two of her friends were with her. One looked like a very tall latina dyke who was attempting to dress very “gangster” like a rapper off a 2005 music video set.

I shook her hand. She definitely didn’t have the grip strength of the rapper she was pretending to be.

I lead her to my car and we head out. At this point she was wondering where were going to go – since we had changed the date on the fly.

I kiss her on the lips – and she reciprocates with tongue.

We get to talking and I tell her straight up – “I want my dick in your pussy tonight.”

“Thanks for being honest and upfront, it’s refreshing.” she replies. 

I told her we should skip going to the bars and find a hotel.

She agreed.

We end up heading out to a hotel. I go inside. I ask the front desk receptionist if they have any rooms.

He checks on his computer. “No, I’m afraid were all booked out tonight sir, unfortunately.”

Turns out EVERY single MOTEL and HOTEL in a 40 mile radius of Colorado was BOOKED OUT.


I frantically tried calling multiple hotels while she was smoking her vape.

First Hotel – FULL. Second Hotel – FULL


I had to improvise at this point. She was sipping crown.

The back of my car had a shit ton of junk in it.

I ended up driving to a deserted parking lot at some corporate building.

I made sure it was a secluded area with NO foot or vehicle traffic.

Then I told her I was going to FUCK her in the back of my CAR.

She helped me clean the back out. (I had a bunch of stuff in it)


We both sat in the back of my 1993 Toyota Camry. We started kissing. My hands were firmly on her hips.

She grasped her shoulders with my hands.

We kept making out. She sat on top of me. Finally, the sexual tension built up to a CLIMAX.

She started stripping off her clothing. First she took off her bracelets, then her shirt.

She pulled my HARD dick out of my American Eagle Skinny Jeans.

A look of excitement flashed in her eyes.

She began sucking me off and giving me head with her knees on the seat and her ass up in the air on the right passenger window.

After a few minutes of this, we were both ready to fuck.

I put a condom on and she ripped her panties, bra and jeans off.

The only THING she had ON was pair of BLACK and Red Jordan Retro 23’s.

I fucked her cowgirl first. She got on top of me and I slid my hard dick inside her tight pussy. She was extremely tight – especially for a woman in her thirties. Actually, she was tighter then my 24 year blonde EX GF Hoeper.


I put my inch 18 former bodybuilder biceps to good work. Using every ounce of muscle, I put my hand on her asscheeks and forced her pussy up and down my dick with perfect rythm.

She ended up having two squirting orgasms.

Then I took her missionary style in the back of the car. Finally, I hit it from behind while she stuck her big ass out.

I pulled the condom off and busted my load on her pretty face.

We were hungry after words – She only gets TACO BELL.

Turns out this chick had had a felony armed robbery charge. She had been released from a woman’s prison recently. That is why her pussy was so tight.

She was definitely on some hood rat/sketch shit, although she was great at hiding it at first glance.

I dropped her ass off back at her friends apartment after I busted on her face and drove off.

And I haven’t contacted her since.

Nor will I ever.

Bitch had more red flags then a Chinese Communist Parade.

Stay tuned for more Tales of Poon.

Physically, this chick was hot.

Mentally, this chick had more issues then a psyche ward.

Abusive relationship history, felony history, two kids that were not in her custody.

All in all, it was a good lay with lots of euphoria

Stay Tuned for more Lay Reports in the future

-AJ Lifts

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