My Way or The Highway


My Way or The Highway 

                           (Be a Decisive Dominant Douchebag)

I remember when I was five. A kid. Riding around with my Dad Isuzu truck. He had a catchphrase he would frequently use.

He would look people squarely in the eye, and tell them straight up, flat out.

Its my way. Or the Mothafuckin Highway.” – He said it with such conviction, belief and charisma that it was like he warped reality.

Bending it to his will.

I used to think he was “mean”. I used to think my dad was “abusive.”

It took me until the age of 28 to realize that my dad was just trying to prepare me for how hard and uncaring this world is.

1) Warp Reality or Be Warped By Reality

It’s as simple as that. Either you bend this world to your whims, or you bend over, pull down your pants and get bent over by the world.

Are you going to bend over Becky , give her a nice hard pounding and make her submit to your will like she really wants to?

Or are you going to ask her if it’s okay to kiss her and then wonder why she won’t respond to your texts after the first date.

Either you leave your mark on this world, take life by the balls and make it happen, or you get bent over your cubicle desk , have your khaki’s pulled down and feel the pressure of life and society trying to get you to succumb.

2) Being a Douchebag is a Good Thing

Official definitions : (Oxford Dictionary)

Douchebag n. – an obnoxious or contemptible person (typically used of a man).
Asshole n. a stupid, irritating, or contemptible person.

My definition:
Douchebag/Asshole – a man who is direct, bold , confident and to the point. He asks for what he wants unapologetically and doesn’t care about stepping on people’s toes.

He doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, he only care’s about achieving his goals and nothing and nobody will stop him.

Guys, you have been indoctrinated to believe that being a nice guy is the morale, socially acceptable thing to do.

You’ve been told that women love nice, caring guys who treat them as equals, respect women, help old ladies cross the street, participate in equality marches and believe in modern values.

Guys, remember my golden rule.
Whatever society tells you is the politically correct thing , the opposite thing is actually the most effective method to success/winning.

I used to feel bad about being called an asshole or a douchebag.
Now I take it with pride.

I’ll never forget when I was in line at Fort Collins outside a crappy dive bar called Yeti’s.
I was talking to some random soy-boys from California, in line. One guy was your stereotypical virgin meme white guy with glasses personified and spoke with a gay lisp.

Another was a metrosexual looking Asian guy with the most homosexual earrings I had ever seen. The last dude was the most masculine of the bunch, he looked like a bearded Venice Beach Surfer who had done a DBZ fusion with a soyboy.


All of the sudden a blonde chick I had matched with on tinder a year ago joined the group.
She explained they were here “friends” and they were out here visiting her.

I tried to make small talk with the chick, she shut me down. I told her that was ok, it seemed she was more interested in Mr. Surfer dude and I said It was obvious she liked him.

She immediately got bitchy and told me “Look, we’re all together so If you could just turn around and do you’re own thing” with vitriol and her best attempt to bark orders.
At this point I’m 28, busting my ass off working 70 hours a week, I no longer censor myself and I just didn’t give a crap. To be blunt.

Very far removed from the 23 year old me who would self censor and tell woman whatever I thought they wanted to hear to get laid. (This never works, by the way.)

I’m still proud of what I did. I pointed my finger straight at this woman, looked her in the eye and with authority, confidence and a position of power I firmly said ” Don’t ever tell me what to do you fucking dumb bitch.”

Friend, typing these words right now puts a smile on my face.
It’s a smile of pride. I didn’t meekly bend over and say OK, I didn’t walk away, I didn’t cry.

I called the bitch out on her shit and held her accountable.

Never mind that she had 3 white knights , 2 bouncers and a crowd of people around me.

This chick was a five on a good day and overweight. I knew I was better. I just happened to be wearing an expensive tank top with about $700 of jewely and accessories on me , good shoes and a torn up, $100 pair of jeans. $200 designer puffy jacket.

Looking like one bad, smole mother f’r.
$100 cologne, fresh haircut.

In otherwords, I was a righteously confident, arrogant motherfucker.
No sooner then the words were out of my mouth then Mr.Asian soyboy was in my face.

“Hey MR.” “You can’t talk to woman like that!” “How dare you!” He shrieked in his shrill, soy-cuck voice.

“Sure I can buddy, I just did.” I replied in a low growl.

His tone of voice became shrill and high at this point. “He sounded like he was on the verge of tears.”

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WEARING A TANK TOP mister. You think girls are going to respond to that?” “Your just mad because you can’t get laid!”

I looked him squarely in the face, inches from him and said ” I guarantee I’ve fucked more women in my life then you have you wimpy little metrosexual.”

His soyboy friend looked genuinely concerned for him at this point (We were roughly the same height but I had 220 pounds of muscle to his 150 lbs, starving vegan soyboy physique)

Soyboy held him back as Mr.White Knight acted like he was trying desperately to lunge at me.
The bouncers noticed what were going on and said we had to “break it up immediately.”

A lanky, emaciated , thin wristed white college kid joke of a bouncer looked at me.

“HEY , were goin to call the police on you.”

“Do it, faggot. I know you make $12.50 bucks an hour and I make more then you, get more ass then you and live a life you can only dream of.”

(I knew he made $12.50 an hour because I had been friends with some of the old bouncers there.)

Fellas I could tell you I stayed and waited for the cops or ran off like a little girl.
The truth is I just walked off after I said that and that was the end of it.

I walked off with my pride, dignity and balls intact.
I didn’t get laid that night.

But I did go to sleep feeling prouder of myself then I ever had.
That was the first night in my life I realized self-respect , and standing up for yourself as a man was infinitely more important then avoiding conflict or getting pussy.

3) Nice Guys Avoid Conflict, Douchebags Welcome Conflict

Nice guys avoid conflict, never stand up for themselves, always try to please others, always self-sacrifice , never make there needs a priority and wonder why women aren’t attracted to them.

Their entire existence revolves around trying to please others and women, never trying to step on any toes, never trying to offend anyone always avoiding ruffling any feathers.

They are always trying to figure out what other people want to hear and avoid asking for what they want directly, firmly and confidently.

Douchebags are direct and straightforward. They ask for what they want and make no apologies for there wants, desires and needs.

They don’t feel guilty for having sexual , physical, emotional, financial and spiritual needs.
Douchebags get straight to the point.

Nice Guys beat around the bush and expect people (especially women) to read into their intent without them having to take any risks.

Douchebags accept that in the course of leaving their mark on the universe they are bound to offend others and enter into conflict.

A douchebag doesn’t actively seek out fights and conflicts (That is what a weak, insecure man would do).
When conflict is unavoidable though, the douchebag commits to stand up for himself and those under him.

He knows that sometimes, a mans got to do what a mans got to do and you can’t run from all your problems in life.

Because he’s willing to lay it all on the line, ASK and GO AFTER what HE WANTS, he wins.
After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take in life.

It’s as simple as that.
The douchebag shoots his shot, the nice guy mentally masturbates and makes excuses.


Being a douchebag is a good thing, not a bad one.
My Way or The Motherfucking Highway.

Words to live by.

-AJ Lifts

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