How to Stop Feeling Like A Failure
I firmly believe that all of us will feel like total failures at one point in our lives. The first step to stop feeling like a failure is simple. Stop identifying as a failure. Stop calling yourself a failure.
Stop using negative self-talk and self-deprecating humor. We always act in accordance with our most deeply held beliefs. If you label yourself a failure, your subconscious goal seeking mechanism will seek to fail in every aspect of life.
And you will succeed – at failing. I used to see myself as a failure in life. I could never do anything right, no girls wanted me, I could not get a decent job, and I hated my life. I acted in accordance with my most deeply held beliefs.
I was miserable. Because I was afraid to fail, I played it safe. Because I played it safe, I lived a mediocre , sad life. I lived in a comfortable depression. The comfortable depression of the chronic underachiever.
Failing is an Event, Not An Identity
The problem with being and labeling yourself a failure is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because you see yourself as a failure, you act in accordance with that. So you unconsciously try to fail at everything you do. It’s the only way you can stay consistent with your deeply held beliefs.
You must learn to look at the reality of things. Failure is a single, isolated event. Not a permanent identity. By being too hard on yourself and seeing yourself as unable to succeed at anything, you put the blinders on any potential opportunities.
Because you see yourself as unworthy , you miss potential solutions to the daily problems you face in life. Do not treat failure as a constant state that defines you. Treat it as if it is a temporary roadblock on the path to success.
Failing is Necessary to Succeed
Think back to when you were a baby. You could not even walk. Before you could even attempt to walk, you had to learn to crawl. You probably stumbled many times.
But finally, you did it. You took your first step. You kept trying UNTIL.
Until what? Until you SUCCEEDED. Unfortunately, sometimes we forget the deep lessons life imparts on us. Thomas Edison Failed his way to success – 10,000 times. Him and his employees succeeded in discovering 9,999 methods for NOT creating a light-bulb. Finally, they learned enough from their failures to succeed at creating the modern LIGHT BULB which illuminates our modern world.
Failure is Opportunity
I suggest you delete the word failure from your mental vocabulary. Visualize yourself crossing out the word with a permanent black marker. Then throw the page it is written on in the trash and burn it.
Learning Opportunities are necessary to discover what not to do – and what to do. After you have tried everything that does not work, the only remaining thing to try is what does work. When their is nothing to lose by DOING, and much to gain, DO!
Don’t let yourself be talked out of trying by the lying whispers of doubt in your own mind. Learn to think of failures as stepping stones that can take you from where you are to where you want to be. The only person who can continue to call themselves a failure is the person who stops taking action and risks and resigns himself to a life of mediocrity.
How Not To Fail
The only way to STOP FAILING is to STOP TRYING. If you stop trying, you will NEVER SUCCEED. Accept and Move Through Failure
Learn to accept and move past failure. Don’t reflect and dwell on them. Learn what not to do but don’t beat yourself up. We learn more from our losses in life then from our wins.
Every successful winner from Edison to Bezos, to Jobs to Gates dealt with repeated failures. But nobody mentions that. Nobody mentions the trials and errors, the repeated overcoming of adversity and trials and tribulations.
Failing isn’t the problem – Giving up is. Sometimes the easies thing in the world is to just give up. Those are the moments when you need to persevere the most. When you just feel throwing in the towel.
You’ve got to develop strong will-power and a can-do attitude. You’ve got to develop an iron-will, and the burning hot desire to never give up. You’ve got to move past failures – don’t let them stop you. Let them motivate you to keep pressing on, no matter what. Somehow, someway, you will find a way. It pays to remember that success is impossible without failure. Movies and advertisements set people up for failure and disappointment. They make them believe that success can be bought and that it will be easy.
But you can’t buy success, you can only rent it. That rent must be payed every day and every minute. You’ve got to learn how to separate you from your failures. You are not your failures and you’re failures are not you. It’s that simple. In some ways failure can be a better outcome then success.
I’ve learned much more from my individual failures, losses and disappointments then my wins. Pain and the weight of disappointment serve as the best motivators. Pleasure and victory just can’t compare. Sure, they feel good, but they don’t impart a painful lesson. Human beings will do more to avoid pain then to seek pleasure. What seems in the moment to be our biggest obstacle can end up being our biggest key to success. The key is using that obstacle as a vehicle for growth, change and guidance instead of one for depression and disappointment.
If you have self-respect and ambition then you will NEVER GIVE UP. If you’re reading these words, it’s because you want to improve your life. You and I share that common thread. You will keep trying, despite the obstacle’s and setbacks that decide to present themselves on your path. Never forget – the only way to succeed is to fail repeatedly.
The only thing that can stop you in life is YOU.
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