How to Get Over a Long Distance Break Up
In Two Words:
I define long distance as living anything more then 45-minutes away. After you’ve been broken up with, it can be hard.
Breakups trigger a chemical withdrawal according to psychologist’s, just like quitting a drug cold turkey.
75% of break ups and 90% of divorces are initiated by women.
The woman will have a social support network, female friends and family to turn to.
As well as the man she is planning on leaving for. She will have mentally checked out of the relationship well ahead of time. This means it will not be a surprise to her. It will be premeditated.
In addition, women and men process emotions differently. Women process emotions all at once and then move on. Men are initially non-reactive, but then it hits you like a drunk driver running a red light.
Women have a replacement lined up, many times on the same night.
As well as the ability to easily get sex from hundreds of man demand via dating apps.
As hard as it is, you must react rationally and logically. Many men react emotionally, which only makes them more unattractive, desperate and weak to the person they broke up with. You must immediately go no contact.
Like Lot fleeing Soddom and Gomorrah you must WALK AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK.
She’s gone now. She’s for the streets now.
These Hoes Ain’t Loyal. – Chris Brown
1) How My Breakup Went
On March 16th of this year, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me. She was 24 at the time.
We’ll call her Mary . When I met Mary she was a petite 125 pounds. By the end of the relationship, Mary weighed 145 pounds. Mary was on birth control, on an SSRI (an antidepressant), and hypothyroid. This was a triple assault both on her libido and her weight. In addition, she suffered from clinically diagnosed generalized anxiety, major depression and often drank 12 – 18 servings of alcohol a week (which further impaired her thyroid).
This meant that her libido was impaired by three different problems.
From the start of the relationship, she had an extremely low sex drive. Her birthday was on May 15th.
I didn’t see the writing on the wall, but even though she was with me physically, she had checked out mentally. I got her a nice card with a handwritten note. I had bought her a $100 FOSSIL watch, bought her a $100 Swedish Massage , we saw a movie, got shakes and I took her to a Wildlife Reserve. When we went to lunch, she offered to pay. She never did this before, and I should have realized something was up.
She had just got a promotion and went from making the same as me to $5k more. That evening, we went back to her apartment. We ended up doing mushrooms with her roommate. She complained about me chewing food loudly, which foreshadowed where things were headed. Even her roommate thought that was out of pocket because she gave her a funny look and told her it wasn’t that loud. We both gave her a funny look. Some women will act bitchy, rude and nitpick in an attempt to get you to break up with them. They will create a massive drama fest over the smallest most irrational thing imaginable – like CHEWING FOOD too loudly.
This way they do not have to bear the guilt of being the person who destroyed the relationship.
That night at 11:30, we went to her bedroom. We were making out, and petting each other. Things were getting hot and heavy. All of the sudden she does the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. She gets up, with her phone in her hand. She runs to the bathroom and is in there for fifteen minutes. She comes out, looks at me dead in the eye and with a scowl on her face and a look to kill yells:
“ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT IT OR DO I NEED TO KICK YOU OUT?”
Now she lived in Denver. I lived about an hour from her place. I had to work that next morning at 7. I really didn’t want to spend two hours driving back and forth to my place and get three hours of sleep. So I said nothing and went to sleep on the opposite side of the bed, pissed off but knowing that I needed to work.
At 6 AM I left without a word. She texted me on her phone that morning.
“Call me when you get a chance. We need to talk.”
“Text me already, she said.”
Finally, that evening after I got home, she called me.
It wasn’t to apologize for acting like a dumb bitch.
It was a power play to get me to apologize so she would have the power in the relationship.
We spoke for 35 damn minutes, which is something I would never recommend and never do again. Finally, we agreed we would still stay together but she would need more time to focus on the job and have less time to spend with me. Really, she just wanted to breakup with me but didn’t have the balls to by phone. This was another red flag. Next morning she sends me a wall of text at 7:30 in the morning.
“I’ve finally gotten clarity. You deserve someone who is fully into you. Sorry to spring this on you.
Don’t give up on dating. I know the right person out there is waiting for you. I’ll always appreciate the special times we had together and I love the watch.” And a bunch of other sugar coated bologna feel good platitudes. She must have sent about 15 sentences of replies, but it was all along the same line. Roughly translated:
I just got a promotion and I can do better. Nothing you did ever meant anything to me. You being a good, supportive boyfriend doesn’t mean shit. You paying every time we went out didn’t mean shit. Im going to go on dating apps and suck and fuck random men now. You ain’t ever getting this ass again in your life. I want to fuck random strange men, not you. I am no longer attracted to you in any way, shape or form. I am a human piece of shit but instead of telling it like it is I am going to sugarcoat things to absolve myself of any personal responsibility, guilt or fault for this ending.
One of my friends doesn’t like you.
I value my friends opinion of me more then our relationship.
Im going to get drunk at bars and nightclubs and flirt with random men now, including the one I’ve been EMOTIONALLY CHEATING with while I was with you.
I hope you confirm yourself to be the loser I think you are. Then I will know I was right to dump you”
It was a pretty rough lesson to swallow.
No such thing as investing in a relationship in 2021. The dogs and assholes that women can’t get enough are the same men they turn around and bitch about. Women created them by fucking over well intentioned men trying to be the man society indoctrinated them to believe women desired and deserved. Women constantly have one foot out the door and are always flirting with and scoping out other men. I didn’t realize this until I remembered that on St. Pattys me and my girlfriend had gone out to a bar and Mary was wearing spaghetti straps and dressing up for the attention of other men. Of course for me to point this out would make me “controlling, and an abuser.” according to bologna American dating standards.
2) How I Acted, and Reacted
Let me preface this by saying that at no point in the relationship did I act in bad faith.
At no point through out the relationship did I cheat. I had multiple sexual advances I could have acted on, but refused to.
Never even took down a number. Not that it changed the outcome at the end of the day.
I texted my-ex back one message after she broke up with me by text like a complete and utter coward.
“OK. Call or text me if you change your mind.”
No tears. No calling. No asking questions like who, what, when, where and why. In hindsight, the only thing I should have texted was OK. The next few weeks were hard. Once someone you cared about and invested emotions, time, energy and money into, stabs you in the back and fucks you over, it will always be hard. No matter how “good of a person” they try to delude themselves into coming off as, actions speak louder then words. A breakup at it’s core, is a BETRAYAL. The woman is throwing you in the garbage so she can take another strange man’s dick inside her.
HOW TO SURVIVE A BREAK UP:
(What to do and What not to Do)
WHAT I DID DO:
A) I went no contact and to this day have not reached out to my ex.
B) I went to the gym every single day and lifted weights for at least an hour
C) I upgraded my wardrobe and bought new shoes, clothes and silver jewelry,
D) I began to take better care of myself, bought cologne and began visiting the best barber in the city on a regular basis.
E) I began socializing with male friends and hitting up clubs and bars on a regular basis.
F)I had casual sex with much more attractive, tighter, wetter, skinnier, hotter women with better attitudes. Many of these women I met in the street or while going out an about.
Some of those woman were uglier then my ex. But several were much tighter, hotter, younger and skinnier.
The hotter ones did wonders for my confidence and self esteem.
G) I stopped putting illogical, emotional people on a pedestal. These people are inferior, not equals or superiors.
Only in this artificial society have we elevated an inferior to the rank of equals. They are not equals, never have been and never will be.
H) I went no contact with my brainwashed SJW/victimhood mentality mentally ill EX.
I) I went out to bars and clubs most weekends. I came and left completely sober.
J) I went through the five stages of grief. I accepted that things and people are the way they are, not the way we idealize them to be.
K) I got my mojo back. I took personal responsibility for my failings in the relationship. I reminded myself that I was successful with women before I entered the relationship.
J) I brainstormed and asked myself what mistakes I made. What could I have done better?
L) I focused on my career, self-care , learning and productivity.
WHAT I DID NOT DO:
A) I refused to feel sorry for myself or complain.
B) I did not mope and sulk in my house, resort to escapism, coping , alcohol or mind altering substances.
C) I did not write off all women or dating.
D) I did not try to win my EX back, try to hit her up on social media or stalk/follow/care about my ex, beg for her back.
E) I did not put myself down / self-deprecate.
F) I did not cry, have an emotional temper tantrum, or sulk.
G) I did not deny the reality of the situation.
H) I did not swear off women or dating, or become cynical or pessimistic
3) The Trip To Vegas (How I Got My Mojo Back)
Me and my ex had scheduled time off for Memorial Day Weekend.
We were going to go to some boring trip to South Dakota.
Why South Dakota? Well her group of international student friends wanted a reunion.
One of the friends lived in the middle of nowhere South Dakota, and proposed everyone meet there.
Because the group was full of agreeable people and weak men, nobody pointed out the obvious truth.
South Dakota is boring as fuck. The friend who suggested that was simply selfish.
Someone should have spoke up and demanded to go somewhere cool. Not the middle of nowhere.
Of course, her friend group was a bunch of weak, go along to get along types, so they said nothing.
I still had the time off, and wanted to make the most of it given that the road trip was no longer at the table.
I did just that.
I had a small business deal that was going to be done online. The other person happened to live in Nevada. Vegas was just opening back up.
I was newly single. We agreed to meet in person for the deal.
I made reservations, planned my trip out and ended up having an amazing time.
I ended up catching food poisoning from the airport food.
I was sick for the next THREE days, but still did great.
I approached about twenty women on my trip. I got 12 numbers and two lays that weekend.
One was a girl I met at the pool, the other was off of Bumble.
Both lays were significantly better then my ex in looks.
I came to Vegas without my mojo. I left with my faith and confidence in myself restored and bolstered.
To read more about my trip to Las Vegas, check out my article here:
My Trip To Vegas
4) Suggested Reading Material:
The following books will help you get over a breakup and come back bigger and better then ever:
No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero’s Journey: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming an Integrated Male by Dr. Michael Pariser, Dr. Robert Glover
Choose Yourself! Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream by James Altucher
Looking Out For Number 1 By Robert Ringer
I am glad I went through what I did with Mary. It was the final nail in the coffin for me to stop putting inferiors on a pedestal. Inferiors must be treated as such – not as equals. Someone who runs bases decisions off of emotion and “feelings will never equal a logical, rational human being. Not in thinking, not in cognitive ability, not in respect.
Break-ups are like many negative events in life. Opportunities disguised as problems.
It is not what happens to you in life, but what you do about it that determines how your life plays out.
I’ve seen men get on their knees, cry, beg and bitch after cursing out their girl and slamming their bleeding forehead into glass.
I never understood that logic. Personally, my break up was one of the defining moments of my life. Instead of begging and pleading I stepped outside of my comfort zone, developed my social abilities and was able to land many freakier, hotter, skinnier and better women. More importantly, these woman often had better character, attitudes, libido’s, and were not damaged goods, like my mentally ill ex.
A valuable life lesson:
Go WHERE you are WANTED.
If someone TREATS YOU LIKE AN OPTION – DON’T TREAT THEM LIKE A PRIORITY.
A mentor of mine, Ricco put it best:
“Do you honestly think this girl lost a wink of sleep after she dumped your ass?”
Sometimes you need to hear a blunt statement like that to realize the harsh truth.
The person you thought cared for you saw you as nothing more as a disposable utility to be used and then thrown in the garbage.How to Survive a Break Up?
Like everything that happens to you in life.
Learn from the past, make moves in the present and plan for the future.